The result was this…..ASSAULT (there is only that way of describing it) by Michael Essien on Andy Carroll.  The more you look at this, the more horrifying it is.  How he didn’t end his career is difficult to tell.  And the punishment?  A Yellow card.  Words fail me…..

	0 – 3
Date: 28/04/2012		Venue: Carrow Road
Attendance: 26,819		Referee: Mark Halsey

A match I’d been looking forward to all season finally came about on 28th April 2012, with the arrival of Liverpool at Carrow Road.  It seems I wasn’t the only one looking forward to it, as it saw a new record all seater crowd at the stadium.

I have waited a long time to write this report as I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t being biased in my assessment.  But the reality is, that I have seen every game this season at Carrow Road and only one other team absolutely dominated City the way Liverpool did, and that was Spurs.  Man City may have scored 6, but in that game Norwich may well have got three or four themselves.  They could have beaten Arsenal had they been more adventurous, and United only got their winner in the last minute.  Newcastle got beat and Chelsea only drew.

But Liverpool were completely masterful – having 61% of possession and restricting Norwich to only two chances, and Reina only had to make one save.  The passing and movement of this Liverpool side was immense, and a fantastic hattrick was scored by Suarez – who was barracked throughout.  A lot of the Norwich sites were saying that the goals all came from defensive errors, which they did – but the reality is that Suarez still had a lot to do with all three goals, particularly the last one which was a 45 yard lob over Ruddy at the Barclay end.

Liverpool, in truth, could have had a lot more.  They hit the crossbar, Downing had a rasping shot well saved, Shelvey somehow managed to miss whilst actually on the goal-line – possibly the worse miss of the season.  Norwich were lacklustre and very well beaten indeed.

Norwich City

• 01 Ruddy
• 03 Drury (R Martin – 12′ )
• 22 Ward Booked
• 25 Naughton
• 33 R Bennett Booked
• 04 Johnson
• 12 Pilkington
• 15 Fox (Vaughan – 46′ Booked )
• 17 E Bennett
• 24 Howson Booked
• 05 Morison (Holt – 76′ )

Substitutes

• 31 Steer
• 02 R Martin
• 11 Surman
• 14 Hoolahan
• 08 Vaughan
• 09 Holt
• 21 Wilbraham

Semi Finals at Wembley

From the 1990 – 1991 season, Wembley has been used for semi-finals.  This meant that twice as many teams got to play at the famous stadium every season, and the specialness of playing there was eroded.  At least that year, there was a reasonable argument for playing it there, as it was Spurs v. Arsenal.  This year saw the whole of Merseyside having to decamp to London for Everton v. Liverpool.  A disgrace.

Penalty shoot-outs introduced

Due to the police demanding extra notice before games are scheduled, from the 1992 – 1992 season ten days insted of three were required between drawn matches and replays.  This meant that penalty shoot outs were introduced to keep the tournament on schedule.

Final replays scrapped

From 1994 – 1995 the FA Cup final replay in the event of a draw was scrapped.

Semi-Final replays scrapped

From 1999-2000 season, semi-final replays were scrapped.

Start moved back

In 1999-2000 Third round is played before Christmas.

No Exclusivity for Final

The worst decision for me.  The FA Cup was special.  It was on it’s own, the end of the season.  It was exclusive.  But from 2010-2011 season, this exclusivity was stopped – allowing premiership games to be played on the same day.  Manchester City play Stoke in the cup on the same day Manchester United win the league, overshadowing City’s momentous achievement winning their first cup for approximately 1000 years.

3pm Kick off moved

Possibly the final nail in the coffin – the 3pm kick is abandoned for the first time since the second world war.  hence I am writing this at 5:05 pm with ten mins to go until kick off.

I’m now off to watch the match – but I just wish the FA hadn’t devalued it so.

This is possibly the first time this has been attempted in a full body performance.  ”War of the Worlds” resurrected Richard Burton as a gigantic holographic head – but this wasn’t truly holographic as it wasn’t in 3D.  However, it is extremely well done – I believe it was achieved by animating his performance (it wasn’t filmed footage of him, but a CGI created animation) – the full explanation of how it was achieved is shown here :

Truly amazing use of the technology I think you’ll agree.  The next stage of development, apparently, will be “War of the Worlds : The Next Generation” which plans to have Liam Neeson appearing on stage as a fully interactive 3D Hologram, and if this is achieved it will push the boundaries even further.  I have a ticket for that show so will be able to comment on that in December.

In the meantime, of course, there are plenty of ethical questions raised by what was achieved at Coachella.  Could we see John Lennon perform again with The Beatles?  Freddie Mercury reunite with Queen? (I am sure if there was money to be made Brian and Roger would do it).  In the latter case it would certainly be preferable to Adam Lambert.

But overall, I have to admit to being slightly uncomfortable with the whole process of resurrecting the dead in this way for entertainment.

What do you think?

	1 – 6
Date: 14/04/2012		Venue: Carrow Road
Attendance: 26,812		Referee: Chris Foy

The first of two big home matches in succession saw Man City arrive at Carrow Road needing a win to put some pressure on Man United at the top of the table.  The next visitors are Liverpool, so not too much pressure there.  City, after their win at Spurs are technically safe – although Mathematically they aren’t.

The game was certainly a story of two periods within each half.  For the first 15 minutes, Norwich were the better side.  City were pinned into their own half and a succession of bodies were thrown in front of shots.  It was interesting though that Norwich were never really getting close enough to the Manchester goal to cause any real threat.  It was interesting to see Manchester’s commitment to the defensive cause during this period.  It isn’t something you usually associate with them.  Gradually, though, Manchester started to spring some counter attacks, and two close penalty appeals in the Norwich area were waved away by the ref, even booking Tevez for diving in the process.  But it was no surprise when City took the lead.  A mistake by Elliot Ward gifted the ball to Manchester City, and Tevez slammed the ball home from 25 yards.  At the time of writing it looked like Ruddy’s error but I have yet to see it again on telly.  The second goal was absolutely gorgeous.  A back heel on the edge of the area set up Aguero who hammered the ball into the top left corner.  Norwich hardly got a look in for the rest of the first half.

The second half began with two substitutions.  Hoolahan came on for the ineffectual Bradley Johnson and Surman for Wilbraham.  Norwich immediately became a much more effective force and pulled one back through Surman.  Again, for the first ten minutes of the half it was Norwich domination and determined defending from City.  But City adjusted for Norwich’s new formation and then bought on Yaya Toure who I was surprised hadn’t been on for the start.  The man is a physical specimen and he immediately made a huge difference with City scoring three in quick succession.  Even then they weren’t finished and in the last five minutes hit the cross bar and the post before Johnson scored a cracking team goal.

The result was rather strange.  Norwich had had two extremely good spells but the reality was that City were by FAR the best team to come to Carrow Road this season and could have scored four more easily.

I soon found my first ever solo cache  - a tiny cache hidden on a bus stop.  The actual cache was no bigger than my finger nail and VERY cleverly hidden.  I will say no more than that for fear of giving it away!

I then headed out to try and find a more difficult one, as it was nearby and (almost) on the route home.  This one is rated four stars and is apparently VERY difficult to find.  It isnt helped by overhead powerlines which disrupt compasses and GPSs and also the actual cache is apparently disguised.  Needless to say I didn’t find it, but have emailed the family and asked if they would be interested in going back and trying to find it.

Watch this space.

	1 – 2
Date: 09/04/2012		Venue: White Hart Lane
Attendance: 36,126		Referee: Michael Oliver

Having reached the magic mark of 40 points with the draw against Everton at Carrow Road, I still felt two more were needed for guaranteed safety.  And I wasn’t expecting Norwich to get anything out of the next two games, away against Spurs and home against Man City.  Granted that Spurs were on a stuttering run, but Norwich had looked dead on their feet on Saturday – so I felt expecting them to play only 48 hours later was too much.

But on this evidence Norwich have greater strength of depth than Spurs.  Several changes saw Howson back in midfield and Wilbraham starting up front alongside Holt.  Spurs played into Norwich’s hands by not playing Parker.

A defensive mix up in the 12th minute saw Pilkington on his return to the side net a loose ball to score his eigth of the season.  Shortly afterwards, there was an absolute stonewall of a penalty to Norwich which was bizarrely not given by the ref.  Friedal gathered the ball, launched it up field and from a delightful through ball from Livermore, Defoe lifted it over Ruddy for a goal.

Spurs started the gamesmanship that they have sadly become famous for under Redknapp.  Kaboul kicked out at Holt off the ball, clearly trying to provoke a reaction and a second clear cut penalty was also denied when Adebayor felled Wilbraham in the area.  But Norwich were resolute.  A great save from Ruddy kept the scores level, and Bale hit the underside of the bar before Elliot Ward scored an absolute peach, a 20 yard curler for his first ever NCFC goal.

That gives Norwich 43 points and mark Easter Monday 9th April into your diary.  Astonishingly – that is the day that Norwich City ensured another season in the premiership.

	2 – 2
Date: 07/04/2012		Venue: Carrow Road
Attendance: 26,554		Referee: Andre Marriner

With apologies to Stevie Smith, Norwich are not limping but stumbling over the safety line – but the fact that they are doing so so early in the season can only be a very good thing for the all round health for the club.  That they are struggling now is much more down to fitness more than anything else, and I am sure that the backroom staff will work on that over the summer.

I haven’t blogged on the last two games, so a quick recap is in order.  23rd March (my 42nd birthday) I gave my ticket to Keith to take Micah and they saw a comfortable 2-0 win for Norwich with Holt scoring a sublime goal.  Then the week after they went away to Fulham in a game I watched on Footie First.  They gave themselves a mountain to climb by conceding 2 goals in the first 15 minutes.  The fact that they almost scaled that mountain, pulling one back and giving Fulham a hell of a scare in the last ten minutes was their season in a microcosm.  Plenty of endeavour and some pleasing football but very much the architect of their own misfortunes.

And so to Everton.  Riding in on the crest of a wave.  A week away from an FA Cup semi final against Liverpool and also ahead of their great city rivals for the first time in ages.  They dominated Norwich for the first twenty minutes and it was no surprise when they scored first, and followed up with an even better chance a minute later which Ruddy was extremely pleased to see scuffed into the path of his despairing dive.  Norwich, with Howson up front alongside Holt, were showing very little until suddenly Drury was given the freedom of the left ring, pushing unchallenged towards the area before rolling the ball to Hoolahan who again passed to Howson who was unmarked six yards out in front of an open goal.  Even my granny wouldn’t have missed and she’s been dead a decade.

Second half, Norwich came out with more purpose but again conceded a goal, this time in rather strange circumstances.  An Everton player fell on the ball and it got trapped between his legs.  Norwich players stopped, expecting a free kick which wasn’t given.  They then stared kicking at the prone player before the ball broke free kindly on the edge of the box.  Hoolahan tried to get to it only to have the referee block him off.  Norwich players again stopped, and protested freeing Everton to score an easy goal.  The Norwich complaints carried on long and loud but in all honestly they weren’t justified.

Lambert finally changed things.  He brought Howson back into midfield where he started to boss things, and moved Hoolahan inside from the left wing where he was busy but ineffective.  Wilbraham came on to partner Holt after his goal as a sub last week.

Things immediately improved and I have no doubt that if they had been like this from the start they would have won.  They started to play some of the best football of the season and deservedly drew level again when Holt finished off a rebound from a Wilbraham shot.

Norwich were dead on their feet at the end – for the last ten minutes some of them looked like they were on the verge of heart attacks.  But they held on.

Are they safe?  Not mathematically, and I would be happier with 42.  But if they go down from here they would probably be the most unfortunate team in premiership history.

The real kicker though, and ultimately what resulted in a “no” was that I was unable to prove I was actually a qualified teacher.  You need a “teacher number” to prove your qualified – but due to being out for so long I am not sure what mine is.  Complications exist as the organisation that is responsible for registering teachers (the GTC) disbanded yesterday and a new organisation starts up on Monday.  So when I rang them on Friday – they really weren’t sure what their responsibilities were within the new organisation.  And in a typical government cock up way, no-one is exactly sure (the Department of Education, the GTC or the new Teaching Agency) whether I actually still have Qualified Teacher Status or whether I need to go back into training.

What a great system this country has!

I have been told to ring back next week and will do so on Thursday as I have a day off and that will give things a chance to settle down.  Then I need to find out whether I have QTS or not.

Watch this space – but no more applications for me until I know for sure.

Shame – Shanghai would have been nice.

There are, however, other issues with going abroad but I shall deal with those seperately and as they avoid family probably best not to blog them right now.

There was a time in my life where I worked hard and played harder.  Where life never stopped.  Where I never spent endless days sitting on my own in a grotty council flat staring at the walls, talking to no-one.  There was a time when my weekend were spent scuba diving in the Indian Ocean, where my evenings were spent drinking with buddies, sleeping with local ladies, eating gorgeous fresh Tapas which had been swimming feet away hours before.  The drink, the drugs, the sex, the nature, the sheer BEAUTY of it all.  Berlin, Spain, the Middle East, Thailand.  There is such a world out there – a wonderful world.  Which I appreciated, and in which I mattered.  Where people cared.  Where I made a difference.

Norwich?  I’d best not go there.  I don’t wanna get into trouble.

So – I spent this afternoon making up my CV and starting tomorrow I will start applying for teaching jobs abroad.  I will try for the Far East this time.  I quite fancy China.  But I will also train my applications on Berlin as I’d love to go back there.

It’s time.  Time to get out.  Time to matter.  Time to appreciate this world, to find some friends, to get some personal satisfaction.  To get out of this shitty little country.